So So So Scandalous!

So, 'Sherlock' series two has finally been given a date for transmission: January 1st 2012, 8:10pm on BBC One. So, not long to wait now, really. And if we are to believe the hype (something I think we are safe to do with Sherlock) then we're in for one hell of a ride!

The first of the 90 minute films this series is 'Scandal In Belgravia', a 21st Century take on Holmes classic 'A Scandal In Bohemia'. This is the one with The Woman in it - the infamous Irene Adler, the only person to have outsmarted Holmes. 

This time round she's played by 'Spooks' and 'Robin Hood' star Lara Pulver. And she's... well. Not exactly what you'd expect. Sometimes refered to as Holmes' love interest, this time we get something a little different. "Well," says co-creator Mark Gatiss, "she's gay and he's only interested in the brain work ... Something happens. But it doesn't have to be something as mundane as a love story. It's far more interesting than that!"

So, what? Word has it Adler is 'a high-class dominatrix with a camera phone full of dirty secrets" and I can think of no better way of dragging the Adler character into the 21st Century, not so kicking and screaming - Adler was always one of the more "ahead of her time" characters in Doyle's stories.

Joining Pulver in the "newbies" caravan is Russell Tovey as Henry Baskerville in episode two, 'The Hounds Of Baskerville' - no prizes for guessing the source material on this one!

And returning with Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman's Sherlock and John are Mrs Hudson, played once more by Una Stubbs (don't mess with her or you'll get it!) and...

...well, let's look at where we left off last series. At the pool where Carl Powers met his end so many years before Sherlock confronts his nemesis, Jim Moriarty - a smarmy, smart and shockingly original take on the well-known villain, played by the incredible Andrew Scott. So obviously he's back too! But how on earth will our heroes get out of the "gun pointed at bomb" cliffhanger? I'm guessing it'll be more "change of mind" than "change of underpants" when push comes to shove, though that's no bad thing. The only real way they can get out of it is by "it" not really being as threatening as it seems. I could be wrong, who knows?

Well, a select few at the moment. All of us soon enough. And I cannot wait! There's clearly got to be a lot more of Andrew Scott's wondrous Moriarty in this series given that the finale of the three-part mini-series (though I feel nasty calling it that seeing as each offering is an hour and a half in length - longer, really, than a standard six-part series of, say, [anything clocking in at 30 minutes per episode]) is based upon 'The Final Problem' - here called 'The Reichenbach Fall'. The original sees hero and villain go hand to hand in combat on a dangerous cliff top. Both fall to their death (*wink, wink*).

How Moffat and Gatiss' show will handle this story in Steve Thompson's finale script is anyone's guess. I don't really want to know before it airs and I can't wait to see what they have for us! This finale is little more than a month away! Yet, don't want it to end! I want it to go on and on and on! Lucky, then. Because as aficionados know, 'The Final Problem' is far from the final story told, so I'm already looking forward to a third wonderful series. And series two hasn't even aired yet... Brrrr! Exciting, isn't it?!

I will be reviewing each episode of 'Sherlock' series two as they air, right here on the blog.

Black Mirror - The National Anthem

Charlie Brooker has given us some of the most provocative television ever. From his hilarious satire Nathan Barley (a must for those who have never seen it) to zombigbrother comedy drama Dead Set to his often acerbic Screen- and News-Wipe programs.

His latest offering, Black Mirror, is no less controversial or thought-provoking. In fact, I would personally argue that Black Mirror episode one, The National Anthem, is not only Brooker's finest fictional work but also an important piece of television that everyone should see.

The premise is this: Popular "people's princess" Susannah - a member of the Royal Family exceptionally well loved by "The Facebook Generation" thanks to her social-media-savvy relationship with the iPublic - is kidnapped by person or persons unknown. The culprits post a chilling video ransom message on Youtube demanding that, in order to secure Susannah's safe return, the Prime Minister must have full sexual intercourse with a pig live on television.

So the clock ticks. The PM has until 4pm to "do the deed" - but the public's access to the facts via Twitter and other social networks does not make the decision making process any easier than you would imagine it would be.

Along the way there is press-snooping, double-dealing subordinates with the PM's best interests at heart and an audience of millions (I think the show stated that it was about 1.4 billion actually) waiting patiently to watch a man they seem to approve of do something repulsive and illegal with a farmyard animal live on all channels.

So, is this a parable? Is this just the Schadenfreude-fuelled need for celebs eating animal anuses a la I'm A Celebrity... taken to an extreme; a warning that if we don't buck our TV ideas up we'll end up tuning in to see the PM shag a pig to save a princess in our millions? Or maybe you, like many on Twitter, didn't get that from it. Maybe you were content with simply taking the material at face value and found yourself just laughing at this bloke shagging a pig, as you would at Joe Swash eating a slug on ITV. There's another question for us all here too: Would you watch?

I really don't want to give away any particular details about this show because it is far more impacting if you just watch it yourselves. It's available on 4OD and is more than worth an hour of your time. I want to say more (indeed, I typed a far more detailed and more interesting and structured version of this blog but deleted it because I want you to WATCH IT YOURSELF!) but I shan't. I'm tired. Goodbye.

(Read more about Black Mirror RIGHT HERE after its last episode airs...)

The X Factor - A Break From Tradition

Yes. I know. I haven't yet posted about last week's X Factor, let alone penned anything about this week's. Well, I won't be. Because I think I've finally flipped. I think the show has finally lost me. Not the talent (for there is some) but the set up and format of what is, essentially, a big moneymaking scam, if you ask me.

I'd like to talk a little about what I think is the worst crime the show commits every week, without anyone even noticing, apparently. I speak of "this week's theme is...".

The show is called The X Factor. To me that means that each and every person who makes it to the live shows should have something very unique about them to get them there. Misha B has The X Factor. Janet has her own X Factor. Even coke-fuelled shag-machine Frankie Coccozza had it. In his own way. So why, then, do the judges, coaches and producers do all they can week on week to force these so called "unique performers" to act the same as each other? If a contestant is chosen for the live shows based on her wonderful country singing, why should she then be made to "diversify" and cover an ABBA track? 

Do you really think anyone said to Ozzy Osbourne, upon his being discovered as a talent, "You know what Ozzy? You're great... but how are your Beatles covers?" Nonsense. If I was in control of the show then I would let each contestant sing whatever they wanted to sing, as they wanted to sing it. And it would be the judges job to facilitate their wishes and help them or guide them when required. Instead, great singers are being made to perform "outside their comfort zones" as though anyone would want to buy an album made up of one ABBA cover, one Queen song, a song from a movie, a song by their "hero" (usually someone whose music is nice and popular - nobody ever says "my heroes are The Knife, let's sing Behind The Bushes!). Let them sing what they want and BE who they ARE.

Because audiences - especially teens, who tend to have the deciding vote in the household - are fickle and not at all loyal. If Janet fans - those who like her singing her YouTube hits - hear her singing Waterloo by ABBA, badly, then they're likely to think "you know what? She's become shit. I'm not voting for her". It's not fair. 

So here's my take on how the show should be scheduled over a weekend:

SATURDAY: At 8pm the show begins, the judges are introduced and the first act comes out. He/she sings (and plays an instrument, if they can) whatever she chooses. Then the judges give their opinions and there's an ad break. Then, two more acts come out and do the same, then another break. And so on until all the acts have sung and received criticism (constructive or otherwise) and comments from the judges. Then, at the end of the show, the lines open. The show lasts about an hour to an hour and a half depending on the number of acts competing. (Although, there was only 34 minutes of actual singing in a two-hour show once...).

SUNDAY: At 8pm we get a bit of behind the scenes footage from last night, showing how nervous they all were etc, etc. Then the judges are brought out again and we're told which two acts received the lowest number of votes. Ad Break. The lowest scoring acts both perform another song of their choice. The judges comment and decide which act is best. If there is no clear loser then the one with the lowest number of votes leaves the show. The entire programme lasts half an hour, 45 minutes at the most. There is NO NEED to drag it out with celeb performances and false-comment from the judges.

This happens each week until there are just three acts remaining. Then, all three sing two songs each; one cover song of their choice and an original song, which will become their winner's single. The judges have no say here and the public vote for who they want to win. This means that each week the most popular acts remain, and remain based on their personal talent and style, not on any manufactured image thrust upon them by the show. The show is, then, essentially, a showcase for undiscovered talent rather than the "build a pop star" kit it has become.

Though I fear I've wasted my time typing this out. Nothing will ever change, will it? Bastards.