The Rules Of Attraction - Bret Easton Ellis

"What does she like, I was thinking. Questions raced through my mind - does she go wild during sex, does she come easily, does she freak out about oral sex, does she mind a guy coming in her mouth? Then I realize I won't go to bed with a girl if she won't do that. I also won't go to bed with a girl if she can't or won't have an orgasm because then, what's the point? If you can't make a girl come then why even bother? That always seemed to me to be like writing questions in a letter."  SEAN.

Bret Easton Ellis is the master of American Fiction, in my opinion. In his few books he has managed to upset, disturb, arouse, entertain and scare me in equal measure. And each emotion his writing provokes in you makes you ashamed to be feeling that particular emotion at that particular piece of writing. When I read Ellis' work I feel transported to wherever the book may be happening, often high-end 1980s. The characters chew me up and spit me out, exhausted and feeling dirty. There are few authors who are able to tickle such a feeling from their readers. Chuck Palahniuk is another, though his gritty tales tend to wear their grimy hearts on their sleeve. Ellis manages to paint a picture that makes you want to join in - despite knowing you shouldn't want to at all.

Probably the most unnervingly aspirational work Ellis has penned is The Rules Of Attraction (1987), an 'incisive, controversial and startlingly funny tale of student sex, expectation, desire and frustration on an affluent 1980s New England college campus', but it's so much more than the cover would suggest. 

The three main characters - like most of Ellis' creations - are morally grey. I found myself liking each character for their horrible faults rather than despite them. More than any other author, Ellis manages to make you sympathise - indeed, disturbingly, empathise - with the characters. Is Sean a horrible, womanising prick or a delicate, lost soul struggling to find meaning in his shallow life? Is Lauren as pristine as she makes out or is she kidding us and herself? Can you really believe a thing Paul tells you or is he cruelly ignored, viciously misrepresented and deserving of our pity? And if so, do you want to give it to him? Or any of the others? Are they deserving of anything at all? These questions are almost never answered... It's your call.

I find myself believing and liking Paul over the other characters, though it's "the girl" - with her senseless, doomed infatuation with Sean - that really holds up the mirror to most readers, I would have thought. Although the truth is that we are, all of us, all of them. We all exaggerate, we all try our luck yet believe ourselves to be morally above our actions. We all crave something, something, that we can't quite reach and would stand a better chance of getting hold of if only we knew what it is we wanted.

Don't be put off by the graphic sex, the drugs, the parties. Read each telling as a sad insight into the lives of others - and pretend you don't see yourself, if you want to. I did. For too long. I've read The Rules Of Attraction many times; first, at school aged about 15 or 16, then again in my early twenties - over and over. Now I'm reading it again and it's breathtaking just how "fresh" it feels, even when you know just what's coming. I highly recommend this book.

Stieg Larsson's "Millennium Trilogy" (Books)

I'm notoriously difficult to please when it comes to books. I'll read any old shit, but no matter how good or bad the book is I'm never satisfied with the conclusion - I always imagine a different or more extravagant close. Of the hundreds and hundreds of books I've read throughout my life, no matter how much I loved them, I have felt let down by 90% of the endings...

Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy are not only far superior to the "any old shit" I usually read, but all three endings left me satisfied and eager to proceed to the next story. It's just a shame that there was only time for Larsson to complete three great novels before he suffered a massive heart attack which killed him aged just fifty. His plan, apparently, was a saga of ten books.

The existing trilogy kicks off with The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (not the original Swedish title, but for this purpose, the title I shall use). It centres around a 50 year old murder case that has never been solved, but which still haunts the successful business-empire family of the victim, Harriet Vanger. Through complex and twisting circumstances, the mystery lands in the lap of shamed journalist Mikael Blomkvist and troubled security specialist and secret computer hacker Lisbeth Salander - two of the most interesting and real characters I've ever seen committed to print. 

Spanning the year of the investigation, the book delves into a dark and crooked family with more secrets than even Salander herself, maybe. And it's the characters and the sheer quality of writing that makes this such a wonderfully rich and wholesome affair. It has sex, death, family, morals and mystery - but, most importantly, something relevant to say about all of those. This is more than just a fantastic crime novel. It is a piece of social commentary that forces its reader into dark, dank recesses until it has finished speaking then allows them to reflect... It's not a pleasant story either, dealing as it does with sex crimes against women and children and the lengths some people will go to keep the family name flying high. If you're easily upset or sensitive to such themes, or if you struggle to get your head around foreign place names (these books are set in Sweden, obviously) then try Dan Brown.

The second instalment picks up almost a year after the events of the first novel and to talk too much about plot would spoil the story. I think it's fair to say, though, that Salander is once more the focus of The Girl Who Played With Fire and that this volume deals once more with difficult and sensitive subject matter. This time European Sex Trafficking and the country's (for which read society's) ignorance of one of the most abhorrent yet lucrative criminal businesses.

Once again, the characterisation and writing style make this book completely unputdownable - Larsson is a talent that was lost before it was discovered and it is a real shame that we won't get any more from him. The story this time around is bigger and bolder than that of the first book, but no less believable. On the contrary; this story seems to have jumped from the middle pages of any one of many European papers. It shines a light on a mucky underworld where the "organised crime" is less organised than we currently think - and the personal aspects of the story go lengths to explaining one of the most enigmatic characters in modern literature in Lisbeth Salander. She's the ultimate love/hate figure - her actions are inexcusable on the surface but accepted by the reader as entirely correct on reflection. I have never felt more sympathetic towards a character ever before. If she was real I'd love to know her, but be frightened of doing so at the same time.

The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest is a direct sequel to the second story, picking up literally minutes after the last book ends. I dare not give even the slightest summary since even reading the blurb on the book jacket to this one spoiled the ending of the second book for me. You have been warned. But I can say this. The Millennium Trilogy is not only rare in as much as it keeps you interested and satisfied - with plot and character - until the very last pages of all three books, but gets steadily more exciting and interesting and downright thrilling with each book you read. 

Usually the last book of a trilogy or series is either an OTT "uber-conclusion" to the whole saga, where either everyone dies or they all live happily ever after, or a weak and disappointing anti-climax that leaves room for the author to come back to the characters when the bills start piling up. This series, although it could have gone on for longer - there are enough characters and plot through-lines through all three books for there to be ten different, and equally enjoyable, spin-off series - ties itself up nicely while still leaving you with the feeling that these characters are going about their lives long after you've closed the covers. I literally could not read the last two chapters of the third book for a whole day because I didn't want the stories to end. But end they did. And I smiled. Bitter-sweet, but ultimately satisfying to an extent I did not expect. If you've not read these books, please do so. You won't be disappointed.

Larsson, too, is no Dan Brown. There's very little fabrication in the background research here (I've checked) and every step of the characters' adventures feel as real as popping to the shops for some milk (which they do a lot, surprisingly, through all three stories - I never knew the Swedes drank so much coffee!!). There are Swedish movie adaptations of the three books, too, which are great - but nowhere near as detailed, complex or satisfying as chomping through all 500+ pages of each of the books in a handful of sittings. I got these books for Christmas and finished all three within two weeks. I literally could not put them down. I didn't want them to end. I don't think crime fiction will ever be as enjoyable and gut-wrenchingly unpleasant as this. Fantastic stuff... Massively recommended! It's terrible that we'll never get more. Unless, that is, the unfinished Fourth Manuscript (and the rumoured Fifth and Sixth) of Larsson's planned ten books get posthumously completed by another and published... I'm not holding my breath.

Karl Stig-Erland Larsson

1954 - 2004

Frank Collins' "The Pandorica Opens"

When I read a book about Doctor Who it is essential that it entertains me almost as much as the show itself. It needs to be multi-layered, snappy and sharp. It needs to be witty, interesting and fun. It must compliment the show, not rip it up and repackage it in paper-form.

So when blogger-supreme Frank Collins' book, Doctor Who: The Pandorica Opens - Exploring The Worlds Of The Eleventh Doctor landed at my door a week ago I was very pleasantly surprised - it was great. Actually, that sounds bad. I wasn't surprised, I had high hopes for this book ever since it was announced. Frank's Cathode Ray Tube blog is my favourite blog ever; indeed one of the very few blogs I read regularly. This book has been in my life since its conception - almost. Not only is Frank a great Blogger but a wonderful Tweeter too!

He's also a fantastic author. His first book is one of those rare works that blends an analytical, academic reading of a piece of popular culture with an enthusiastically over-analytical (that is by no means a criticism) love letter to a show the author clearly adores. For a fan-boy like me you couldn't ask for more! Split into chapters dealing with the individual stories from Series Five of Moffat's Who, The Pandorica Opens relies on its readers' familiarity with the series being discussed - which is very fair, since I can't think of anything I'd rather read about less if I didn't watch Doctor Who already. 

If you do watch and enjoy Doctor Who - and, most importantly, then I urge you to pick up a copy of this book. Frank has poured his knowledge and his love of this series onto every page he's written, which makes what could be "one of a million books about Doctor Bloody Who" so much more enjoyable. It is very much a personal reading of the series, as Frank himself tells us in his introduction, which urges the reader to question their own interpretation of the series using the new viewpoints offered within. 

The best way to enjoy this book - as I did - is by reading a chapter at a time, punctuated by a re-viewing of the episode in question. It took me a little over a week to get through it. I gobbled it up. It takes the "brainy, well-informed deconstruction" of a rich and unravelling text and covers it in chocolate sauce, hands you a spoon and tells you to tuck in. It not only adds humour and wit to what could be seen as a very niche subject but also serves up some rather unique views written with Frank's trademark warmth and charm. 

It's not without its bad points, however. There seems to be an obsessive 'Peter Pan through-line' to the whole thing, which I suppose, on reflection, is a comment on the series itself, not the book about about it - all of Frank's comparisons to the Pan story are spot-on. And the book is very well researched, although - for me, anyway - the sheer number of works referenced leaves you breathless. Frank's interpretations and opinions are enough for me, I don't need him to justify his thoughts. Although, that's how this sort of book works. It's not a review, it's a reading. It is, though, a great and enjoyable reading - indeed a great and enjoyable read!

I'm struggling to find things to pick on here, because I feel that over-enthusiasm and blanket positivity towards this book would look false and biased, since I know Frank. I don't want anyone to think I'm licking his arse here - especially him! But the book is great! It makes you think, it makes you work. It encourages you to go back and watch the series with a whole new perspective. I found myself smiling to myself, looking out for things Frank had highlighted in The Pandorica Opens and rewarding myself with a grin when I saw them, where I hadn't seen them before. 

Particularly lovely and informative are his chapters on Amy's Choice and Vincent And The Doctor. Two of my favourite and most-watched episodes from the series were given new life through Frank's nuanced probing into what makes them so important as stories. Likewise, his chapter on the Weeping Angels two-parter. Only one chapter initially felt like 'hard work' when I was reading it from the book (The Eleventh Hour) and that was because I'd already read it, in an early form, so many times before that I felt I could - though shouldn't - skip through it, if I wanted to. I didn't - I read it and enjoyed it, despite almost knowing the chapter word for word by this point.

All in all, if you like Doctor Who; like obsessing about detail and want more from your favourite show than flashing lights and loud noises, then this is the book for you! Series Five was a great series and The Pandorica Opens is a fantastic analysis of it. I loved this book. It was interesting, informative and - most importantly - a gripping read. If you know Frank's blog work then you'll love it. If you don't, you soon will after reading his book. Highly recommended - the perfect Christmas present, if you ask me. So, thanks Frank, for writing something special.

You can buy Doctor Who: The Pandorica Opens - Exploring The Worlds Of The Eleventh Doctor from all the best places, including Amazon. Please do so :)