So, this is what happens when you watch Saturday Night Television at your Mum's eh? I wanted to watch the wonderful rhythmic talents of the artists on BBC's "So You Think You Can Dance?". Unfortunately, on my Mum's old Panasonic, this is not allowed! Oh no!
Instead I was made to sit through the new pre-watershed Keith Lemon vehicle, celebrity sing-along gloss-fest "Sing If You Can". Forgetting for a moment that all TV Talent Shows these days apparently have attitude problems - their titles either bullying you mockingly or sneering at you for daring to think you can do something - "Sing If You Can" is just about the most unbearable show I've ever had the misfortune of sitting through.
Basically, a bunch of "celebs" (her who won Nancy, him who done that dancing show, etc) are made to sing songs live while being distracted by stuff that's going on around them. It's like a lighthearted take on a Celine Dion concert on the Gaza Strip. Jodie Prenger (?) was made to sing while covered in snakes, that blonde one from G4 had to warble while balloons were popped in his face. It was like an annoying night at the student's union. And sure, it's funny for a few minutes, like Jackass is, or Trigger Happy TV, but after a very short while the joke just gets very, very old. It's a cross between "Don't Forget The Lyrics", "Distraction" and the list of people NOT allowed in the Groucho club due to them being less famous than my left bollock.
And it's not just the childish OTT ITV audience bray-inducing bullshit that wound me up, no! Interspersed with this nonsense were heartfelt pleas for donations to a teenage cancer charity by Stacey Solomon?! Thankfully, but no less forgivably, "Britain's Got Talent" returns tonight too... So, I'll watch that now, in the hope that there's a fella reading Yeats poems while juggling or something, anything to try to grab back the braincells that died watching what I can only describe as "the worst Saturday Night show ever". If I don't see you through the week, I'll see you throu... ugh, Fuck it.