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Monday, 7 November 2011

The X Factor Live Shows - Week Five

Straight in to my Top Three this week - Marcus takes the top spot with his rendition of the cleverest choice of the week, Reet Petite - VERY classic. And he was wonderful. Followed closely by the ever-reliable Misha B in second place singing and looking like Tina Turner while singing her TT song Proud Mary. 

But this week's third place goes to Craig Colton who, despite being very good, is really boring. Yes, he's a wonderful singer, he's always got a smile on his face, he's very popular in the house - but I think he's boring.

Here he is, look. Looking a bit like a Miami Vampire. "Oh, he's a bit fat and probably gay, he's smiley and scouse... He's SO funny". Um. No he isn't! He has made maybe one or two jokes the whole series long and is riding a wave of Adele-like warbling hype, probably all the way to the final. I loved him to begin with, but now he's boring me a lot. Sorry Craig. I'd rather spend my hard-earned honk on an album by a pratdigger like Frankie Coca-Cola than on your poor-man's-Adele-tribute-album. Harsh, maybe. But it's true.

I was going to talk about how many adverts there always are during The X Factor but I loved that X Factor M&S advert so much this weekend that now I can't bring myself to assault the world of advertising in any way*. And this week, I've finally grown to love Kitty! Which IS confusing and means I can't write what I planned to write about her either.

So let's look forward to next week instead. Now we've lost The Risk and Johnny Robinson there are almost only "purely talented people" left (even Frankie has a following - this is The X Factor, not Pop Idol, remember!). It's going to be really difficult from here on in to choose who to kick out and who to keep. It really will have to be based on their performance that particular week. But then, everyone has bad weeks which, the following week, they have recovered from totally and are seen to be 100% back on form, so that wouldn't really be very fair. 

And next week our seven remaining contestants are rumoured to be taking on the songs of Lady Gaga (which should suit Kitty, since that's her job, isn't it? Sing Gaga, Britney and Madona songs?), which started a marvellous game of "who'll sing what?" in our house.

So, for your consideration, here are what me and @tlchimera think each contestant should sing:

  • Kitty Brucknell should sing Edge Of Glory
  • Frankie Coca-Cola should sing Bad Romance (this arrangement)
  • LittleMix should sing Just Dance
  • Craig Colton should sing Speechless
  • Janet Devlin should sing Paparazzi
  • Marcus Collins should sing Dance In The Dark
  • Misha B should sing Pokerface
NEXT WEEK: We'll see if we were right about the above, Why I think there should be no "Themed Weeks" at all and... you know what? I probably won't talk about what I plan to talk about, so what's the point. Thanks for reading :)

* This Is Sarcasm