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Sunday, 30 January 2011

Sleepless Nights Are Evil

The only thing better than being able to lie in bed all day long is being able to stay up all night, having fun! That is unless you really want to sleep and can't. I've been dealing this last two weeks with some of the worst insomnia I've ever had. Not only have I not been able to get to sleep very easily, but when I have managed to drop off I find myself waking up about an hour later, completely refreshed and ready to go about my day - usually at 2.30am. Lots of people suffer from lack of sleep - suffer being the operative word here - but it hardly bothers me when I'm going through a stage like this. I wouldn't say I'm suffering, not really. Just getting very, very bored indeed.

There isn't an awful lot to do between the hours of 2am and 5am. I've cleaned my flat so many times that I've started making a mess in the days just to give me something to do later. Occasionally there are some remnants of society still awake - those from overseas, or those who can't sleep either - but nine times out of ten the conversation drops off, turns weird, or they go to bed - it's always fun, but never lasts. So I've found myself writing more and more through the night - fiction, mostly. But the trouble with that is that the stuff I have written, when I read it the following day, is either utter rubbish or so off-the-wall that it simply doesn't fit with what it is I'm trying to create. A simple story about lost love turned into a sordid dream-sequence about "taking control" the other night - two whole chapters of an otherwise well-written (if I may say so myself) and heartfelt, almost-autobiographical story skewed and twisted into a pervy, Dali-esque nightmare! That's two whole chapters I had to delete. 

I've tried snoozing in the days, but cannot. I've tried sleeping tablets and herbal remedies... I was so unhinged the other night that I genuinely considered pissing off Somnus in some way, in the hope he'd send me into an eternal slumber. I'll live - but it's a sort of half-life where I'm never really awake, never really asleep. But one thing keeps me going: the knowledge that at some stage - be it sooner or later - my body will have to sleep. And when it does, it's going to be amazing!