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Sunday, 3 October 2010

"I'm getting a man... or a woman... or..."

I'm angry. You have no idea! I was going to watch Glee and blog about that; now I wish I had! Glee - by the way - is a bunch of shit, no offence to those who like it. Lots like it, but to me it was terrible. More on that later!

For now, though, I want to talk about something I found on Living TV or something. Psychic Sally: On The Road. A TV series based on a live show based on a TV series. The titular Sally is psychic. Of course, she's NOT! She's a fake - unless she can prove otherwise! But what I saw of the show angered me so much I felt I had to put something - anything - down in print. The concept is simple. She charges £23.50 for an hour long "medium" show where she contacts the dead for the sad and grieving, yet paying public. Sometimes, she "hits" and gets something right - I'll talk about that in a second. Sometimes she's wrong... but of course the proffered negative means nobody ever notices she's wrong (eg. You don't have a dog do you? - answer: yes ("yeah, I thought so..."), no ("no, I know...").

When she's right, she's only barely right. Today the conversation (paraphrased, but without any exceptional changes at all) went thus:

Sally: I'm getting a woman... she's standing forward... her name is Vi, or Violet?

*Woman stands up*
Sally: Hello, my darling... Do you think this is for you?

Woman: Yes... I think... yes.
Sally: Who've you lost dear? Who's in spirit?
Woman: My mother.... Sylvia....
Sally: Sylvia... now, in the spirit world, she's known by others as Vi... 
Woman: ...Oh...
Sally: She wasn't your mother was she dear? Was she your mother?
*Woman breaks down*
Woman: Oh my... yes... she was yeah... Oh God!

It's criminal! This woman has been given NO indication that this was her mother! The name was even incorrect!! Okay, I know she COULD have been called Vi, but really?! Would it jump out at you? And Sally was told by the confused and emotionally wrecked Woman that Sylvia was her mother, just two questions before, yet still broke down and seemed in awe at the revelation when Sally "told" her.

There was also something about a "white dog with a bad mouth" which, to that same woman - clearly desperate to get some sort of closure for something - translated into her "golden Labrador, Muffin" who DIDN'T have a bad mouth at all, but that detail was soon forgotten...

But look at this! Before the second ad break the audience are shown filling in cards with the details - names, relationships, brief description - of the people they would "most like to receive a message from, should one come through"... So, presumably, if Sally read the cards before the show and in the intervals and memorised just a handful of the information provided, her show is WRITTEN FOR HER BY THE AUDIENCE and all she has to do is wobble a bit and leak the info a sentence at a time, all the while niggling at the audience member for anything she can get - using subtle cold-reading. 

But the house this woman lives in! And the car she gets driven about in! I WANT THAT! So here we are! I've decided to give YOU, dear reader, your very own, personalised and hopefully accurate character reading, using only my powers of psychic magic - or whatever!

So, without further ado, please place your hand on the screen and read on...

You have a need for other people to like and admire you, and yet you tend to be critical of yourself. While you have some personality weaknesses you are generally able to compensate for them.

You have considerable unused capacity that you have not turned to your advantage. Disciplined and self-controlled on the outside, you tend to be worrisome and insecure on the inside. At times you have serious doubts as to whether you have made the right decision or done the right thing. You prefer a certain amount of change and variety and become dissatisfied when hemmed in by restrictions and limitations.

You also pride yourself as an independent thinker; and do not accept others' statements without satisfactory proof. But you have found it unwise to be too frank in revealing yourself to others. At times you are extroverted, affable, and sociable, while at other times you are introverted, wary, and reserved. Some of your aspirations tend to be rather unrealistic.

No, no! That one's for free! Please let me know how accurate my reading was by contacting me on Twitter.