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Tuesday, 11 January 2011

BBC Three's Problems With Balance

It's common knowledge that, since since the channel began, all the best shows have started their life on BBC Three. Torchwood, Gavin & Stacey, Being Human... And it has Family Guy, which is good, and Russell Howard's Good News, which ain't bad either. 

But the price of a) the best of these moving to the main BBC channels and b) there being a severe lack of anything really special replacing them on BBC Three seems to be a deluge of liquid shit, in the form of documentaries nobody really wants to see splashed across the tv page of a family newspaper or repeat after repeat after repeat. Today, for example, programmes begin as always at 7pm, with a repeat of Total Wipeout from last weekend. Then there's a NEW episode of "it's the same every bloody week" make-under show Snog Marry Avoid. Then a repeat of an old episode of the same show. THEN there's a programme called Sun, Sex and Suspicious Parents - where they get a bunch of teens, send them off to a sexy holiday destination (Ibiza) famous for its 18 - 30 ways and then ask the parents whether they think their 19 year old son is up to his balls in German Teen.

But after that we get a bit of a break. From the light-hearted fare anyway. Bleak old EastEnders is repeated. Then, two episodes of Family Guy literally out of the Ark, that new ep of Snog Marry Avoid AGAIN (a mere three and a half hours after it was first shown) and then the whole lot is repeated again until they repeat yesterday's offering, Is Oral Sex Safe? at 1.20am (and again three hours later). 

It seems they have literally nothing to show. In just shy of 10 hours of BBC programming (which means WE pay for this shit) we have NINE repeated programmes, four of which are repeats of shows shown less than four hours before on the very same channel. It's a sad sight to behold. Bite-size TV for a presumably docile and uninterested 'Yoof' audience. No staying power, that's our trouble! Give us a documentary about tits and an American cartoon and we're happy - at least until we've taken so much coke, yeah? And drank so much that we, like, don't really sort of, like, remember what's happened in the last four hours, man! So much so that we need to be shown the last four hours again...

I weep for our future.