And so it begins. Lord Sugar has a new hench-woman and I already want to kill 4 of the candidates! There's a new house, a woman who looks like a friend of mine and so much male-back-slapping/girly-group-hugging that I wanted to high-five someone myself, sat at home! But there was one who just couldn't cut the (pork and) mustard (sausages) tonight...
Dan "I'll Project Manage And You Do All The Work" Harris - what a prick.
Or, as he will be known from here onward, The C**t. A loud-mouthed, bullish, pinch-faced shout-monger who, despite being an ex-millionaire sales director, was a shit salesman and a terrible leader. The C**t yelled, pushed, arm-folded, huffed, puffed and blew himself out of the house and into that black cab before the end of just the second day.
The only reason I can think of for The C**t's to-attentionism and utter disregard for professional courtesy and understanding - (if he'd spoken to me like that in front of strangers in the street I'd have quietly taken him to one side and explained, politely, that I am not a cat and barking at me won't make my run faster) - the ONLY reason I can think of for his over-the-top, look-how-big-a-man-I-am 'juggernaution' is that he's got a dick like a bookie's biro.
That said, The Brand was a pain in the arse and I'm a little freaked out by that woman who looks a bit like Miriam Margoyles being sucked nose-first up an invisible vacuum cleaner - so it's clearly going to be another year of I LOVE HIM/I HATE HIM action from the best dichotomous reality show on Earth - (it's both full of childish wankers who can't be trusted to wash a fucking car and the people who actually have jobs in important areas of this country's economy - no wonder we're all going to the dogs) - Roll on next week.
My favourite? Oooooh! Too early to tell... Ask me again next time.