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Tuesday, 17 May 2011

Getting Used To A Brand New Keyboard

This must be what a regeneration feels like. I've bought a new keyboard since the "keys" in the one belonging to my laptop are rapidly decreasing in number, leaving me with a jumble of small rubber nipples to caress each time I want to write something - which, recently, is quite often indeed.

And it's like trying to get used to wearing women's clothes (I'd imagine). It's not a comfortable experience at all. Okay, so I get to laze about on the sofa while I type rather than sit rigid at my desk, but that comfort comes at a price. On this new keyboard, every letter feels just a few millimeters too far away from its neighbour. The hot-keys aren't configured as I like them. There's an unusually hollow clicking noise as I write, making it sound as though Pinocchio is 'bashing one out' over some 1960s children's TV puppet show milf, to anyone who doesn't know about my new purchase. And worst of all, since I'm using a laptop, I still have to lean forward every now and then to use the bloody mouse-pad.

So, I'm sorry my loyal lot, you are the poor souls who must sit and read through a few hundred meaningless words about a new keyboard, just to see whether prolonged use will make the thing easier for your dear author to work with. But you know what? You don't have to read much more - because it's already over. Thanks for your patience. xx